I was raised the only child. I grew up hearing stories about how teachers were quick to assume a sibling of one student was the same as their other family members, and, I admit, I even thought that brothers and sisters were pretty similar.
I have been the mother of three for a little over a year now and I have to tell you, I was so wrong! My kids do have some similarities. They are caring and smart. They are funny without even trying and, though I may be biased, three of the best kids in the world. But for all of thier likenesses, they are also very different.
My son (16) is very hard on himself. He expects more from himself then he expects from others, setting the bar for him at near perfect. When he can't reach that bar, he gets frustrated and sometimes throws his hands up in defeat, after all, why do something if you can't do it perfectly. He's caring and kind and loves a good pun! He prefers to be alone, or with a small group of people and thinks outside of the box. Conversations with him are rarely dull! He loves to make people laugh, sometimes at his on expense with self deprecating comments and is one of the least judgmental people I have ever meant!
My oldest daughter (8) is the sweetest person I've ever met. She's compassionate like no other and strives to be the best person she can be while helping others do the same, sometimes to the point of mommying someone who doesn't want to be mommied. She is filled with drama, most of it coming from her overwhelming compassion and desire for everyone around her to be happy and loved. She loves pink, purple and anything that sparkles, has always been a social butterfly and isn't afraid to play the damsel in distress. If something is hard for her, she's more apt to quite, claiming that she just can't do it, then she is to fight for success.
The baby of the three is my youngest daughter (1). She stubborn and strong. I have never meant a little one as determined as she is. When something is hard for her, she doesn't give up until she's figured it out. She uses the resources around her to work for her, and words like "no" and "can't" serve as motivation rather then something to detour her. Challenges will NOT hold her back! Her biggest pit fall is her physical development which doesn't always happen on her time line. She is independent. She is a force to be reconnected with and I dread the day she picks up the teenage attitude.
Over the years, I've learned to parent in a way to celebrate their strengths and not to compare them to one another, but allow them to bloom into their own person. But really, their differences has made our lives so much better. We never have the same experience with one that we had with another, not even conversations and it just makes parenting fun.
But mostly, it opens the door to so many lessons, to many eye opening experiences and so many chances to see the world through a different pair of eyes. They each have so much to teach us and each other. They've opened our eyes to beauty that we never would have seen otherwise and they each, in their own way, help us to be the best people we can be.
So yes, two children born of the same parents are may be very different. I'd say that this is true even if they are raised the same, but what I've learned is that even if you try, when you're their parents, you can't parent them exactly the same because they are NOT the same. But that's why it's so great.
So take a moment today, and every day, to celebrate your kids for all of their differences and all of the lessons they have to teach you and their other family members. You may be surprised just how much there is to learn from all of their differences, even if they are as different as the sun and the moon, and they'll be thrilled to experience some new found appreciation to go with what you already give!
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