Title: I Miss you: A First Look at Death
By: Pat Thomas
How we found this book.
For as long as I can remember, my grandmother was a part of my daily life. She was like another mother to me. For 31 years of my life we either lived next door to her or in the same house with her. None of my children knew a world in which she was not in our home with us. Then, in 2017, we were faced with the realization that this amazing woman may not make it to see 100. We placed her in Hospice and started talking about how to prepare my 15 year old and my 8 year old for what we were sure would be the biggest loss of the young lives so far. One of the Hospice providers offered to help us find a book that may help them through the process.
Grammy didn't make it even a week after that discussion. We said goodbye to one of the most amazing people I've ever known after 99 years of making this world even more amazing. Days later we received this book. It had been ordered for my kids before we lost Grammy. I admit, I was skeptical. I didn't believe a book was going to be the answer, but I shared it with my children anyway.
What is it about?
This book is a non religious discussion about death, outlining what to expect to feel and what to expect to happen around you when you loose someone. The words provide a non-judgmental source that also provides understanding and empathy while conquering hard to explain and emotionally difficult topics revolving around loss.
Who thought what?
I'm doing this review on my own this time. Personally, I was pleasantly surprised by this book. It's not a story filled with fluff but a collection of true words written by someone who has obviously suffered loos themselves. I believe that the author in sincere in offering empathy and understanding to those in time painful and hard times. I love that even those confusing aspects of losing someone dear to you. There was something oddly comforting in the words. I also adored that this book takes a point of view that is not religious, meaning that it is for everyone.
I was impressed that this book takes you through step by step, talking about how dying is a natural part of life and that there are many different causes of death to grieving, ceremonies such as funerals and right in through to the other side.
My favorite part about this book, however, is the discussion boxes on some of the pages. These boxes address the topics on the page and then ask the reader to explore their own feelings and that they are going through and maybe even open up for discussion.
Every page is worded in a way to start the conversation and encourage questions without infringing on personal beliefs in a respectful and truthful way.
I know from experience how hard it can be to put what you are feeling into words and how scary it can be to put those words out into the universe. As a parent struggling with the most significant loss of my life, it was sometimes even harder to find a way to help my children through their loss. Pain can be hard to work through. These discussion boxes served as a guide to not only explore what I felt, but create a safe environment in which I could ask the right questions and allow my children to open up with me, and me with them.
I will admit, in some ways this book does feel clinical. I feel like it's a perfect tool to sit on a book shelf in a child or family psychologist's office but I also think it would be a great addition in any home, library or classroom as well.
What would I rank it?
I would rank this book as...
4.5/5 flowers
Now you know what I think of this book, let me know what you think about it! And tell us how you cope with significant loss.
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