There has been a lot of talk about the effects of video games recently and while I'm not going to say that video games ALWAYS has a positive effect and NEVER has been negatively impacted by video games, however, in some ways, video games have change our lives.
As many single parents, I was hesitant to introduce my young son to men who found their ways into my hearts, until I was confident that my son's heart would be protected if my relationship went south with that man. So, when I began dating a man I had been friends with for a few years, though he hadn't spent much face to face time with my son, I was relieved to learn that he had the same concerns when it came to my son.
My son was six. His father was not, and had really never been, in the picture. He had never really known what it was like to have a father figure and, he has special needs, which can, if I'm being honest, complicate things. The man I was dating wasn't sure he was ready to have kids and knew that by dating me and forging a serious relationship with me, he would also have to let my son into his heart. Naturally, we began the process slowly, and only after we were confident that our relationship was something special did he start forming a relationship with my son.
It didn't seem all that long before the two boys formed their own bond. The man I was dating was a gamer and had always loved video games, which was something new for my son and I as we didn't even own a relevant game console. My son had been introduced to video games but his poor hand eye coordination often triggered meltdowns which frequently included violent aspects so I had been happy leave video games as a thing other people participated in, however my boyfriend had other ideas.
Since he had been a gamer for pretty much all of his life, he was ready with a list of titles he thought my son would enjoy and the two of them could delve into together. The titles I was most familiar with were the Mario games but I also had limited, very limited, knowledge of Pokemon. And by limited I mean I had heard the title and could name a handful of pokemon...if I was lucky.
The two found a connection with game controllers in hand so when my son was eight and we started discussing our first Halloween after my daughter, his baby sister, was born, someone jokingly threw out the idea of Mario. Now, this was about eight or nine years ago, just before Mario made his way back into mainstream society and regained his popularity resulting in Mario and Luigi being spotted everywhere. My son quickly said that he'd rather be Luigi since he liked Luigi more and I,totally kidding, said to my boyfriend, "Hey! You can be Mario to his Luigi!"
The idea stuck and we set out to find the perfect costumes. It was the first year that you could, with some searching, find Mario and Luigi costumes, but it was impossible to find children's costumes for my son so we set out to make our own. We spent weeks seeking out of denim overalls, solid green and red long sleeve shirts, white gloves and brown boots! The hardest to find were the hats, which we ended up buying base ball caps with logos on them and covering them up with felt Mario and Luigi symbols. Finally, we got felt to cut out the mustaches and used spirit gum to secure it.
The results were phenomenal, and I don't mean because of how awesome the boys looked! When ever we would go out in costume, people pointed, and called out to them. My boyfriend would use his best Mario voice and my son would practice his Luigi voice. They happily posed for pictures in their favorite Mario and Luigi stance and my boyfriend was quick to wrap his arm around my son and be sure he received the attention he deserved as the child in the scenario. They became the power duo.
My boyfriend even had the chance to be the hero and rescue my son's mustache as it blew away in the windy night we went Trick or treating, chasing after the black felt and desperately digging through piles of leaves as my son stood, tears streaming down his face and devastated that he was no longer the perfect Luigi to go with Mario. The mustache was saved.
The bond was strengthened more then I ever could have imagined. They continued to play their roles as Mario and Luigi when they played together or they needed to find a means of communicating. My son saw it as a confirmation that my boyfriend cared about him and it sprouted an intense love for green which, eight years latter had become a normal part of our lives. My son has to wear green every day, and he pretty much strives to have everything he owns green.
But most importantly, they will both tell you, with great affection, that that Halloween was when their relationship transcended to that of a father and son.
So, when my boyfriend became my fiance, their bond became even stronger and it was no surprise when my son jumped at the chance to start calling my fiance "Dad" as soon as we were officially husband and wife. To this day, the two of them bond though video games, communicate with video game references (though not extensively) and have a bond so strong and loving that, not only can you not tell that the two are not biologically connected, some blood fathers and sons wish they could have such a great relationship with their counterparts.
And, in case this wasn't enough, as my oldest daughter got older, she happily took on the role of Princess Peach, happily being the reason her brother went all out for the last year he dressed up for Halloween, bringing us all together for a full family costume (see the top image).
So, while we talk about the effect that video games have on society, let's not forget the power that they can have to better our lives as well. I, for one, would not be where I am today without them.
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