When this topic first became an option, I was a little worried. I mean, do we really need to tell people how to be friends with some one with Autism? It's not like if you're Autistic you're an alien. You're a person. People are people. Treat them with love and respect. Isn't that simple enough? Maybe, but maybe not. I look at my son and hear stories of what happens and what is said at his high school, a school dubbed alternative because it certainly does not follow the same norms as traditional schools, and I think, "maybe we need to say what seems obvious. Maybe we do need to put it out there."
See, people who have Autism are different. Sure, their differences are pretty amazing, but some of them can be hard, too. And it can be even more difficult when you don't really understand or know much about Autism so consider this an introductory lecture of sorts.
1. Accept that Autism is a factor. Weather we like it or not, Autism is a huge part of who these people are but it doesn't define them. We, as people in their lives, need to throw out the labels while understanding that some of the challenges we face in the relationship is a result of the diagnosis.
2. Learn about them. Understand them. Get to know their quirks and what triggers them and embrace those things. Help them navigate this world filled with challenges and triggers the best you can. Don't judge them for it, but love them for it.
3. Take interest in their obsessions. It's not uncommon for someone with Autism to have obsessions. A common one, for example, is trains. My son went through a couple of years where he was obsessed with Pokemon. Learn about those things they are obsessed with and, when possible, participate in activities involving to interests with them. By taking interest with their obsessions, you open doors to connection and understanding that may otherwise remain closed.
4. Defend them to others. Autism can be a hard thing to understand, even for those of us who live with it every day. This means that people who struggle with finding understanding may be quick to mock, make fun of or all and out bully someone who is different from them, like someone with Autism. Support your friend and stand up for them. The truth is, often times they know that they are not like everyone else. They don't need to be reminded. What they lack is a feeling of being included and fitting in. They, just like the rest of us, need to know that someone cares and can use someone to stand up to those who don't understand them.
5. Everyone is different. This is just as true about those who have Autism. There's a reason they say "If you've met one person with Autism, you've met one person with Autism". Autism doesn't look exactly the same in any two people. Because you know and understand or have bonded with one person with Autism does not give you a "Autism friend" membership card. This is part of the reason it is so important to get to know the individual without letting the diagnosis get in the way.
These are five of my tips to be the best friend you can be to a person with Autism. What are your best tips? Let us know in the comments.
Go here to find out what Piece had to say on the topic or get my tips for being a good friend to someone who has an autistic parent by going here!
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